Stuff to Read While Eating an Apple
by Jappa
Summary: My friends and I came up with these sayings and other things during different classes. We hope you like them. Co-written with X.Butterball.X with help from my friends. I'll post new chapters when new idea's come to our heads.
1. while eating an apple

**Me, my friend X. ButterBall .X and B B B Barry came up with these during class. THEY ARE COPYWRITEDeded. Oh and if i think of anything else, I'll post a new chapter 6.^**

**These are during RE: **

_Wouldn't it be weird if u go back in time and marry this person but it turns out you are that person's descendant. Weird. Wait that means you'll be a descendant of yourself, creepy._

I'm Matt really fat but don't tell my Mumma's cat. (Cause I love that girl ooh, ooh.)

_The temple of the Lord, The temple of the LORD, the temple of the Lord are These,_

Sinai with Jazz Hands.

**These are during Art:**

Read or I'll behead you with a toothbrush

_READ OR I'LL PRESS THE RED BUTTON! Oops I already pressed it. See I'll show you 'click click'. Crap I just pressed it again. I might just go..._

Ally Jellover

_Enorme gaga tadponlian (demon turtle wearing sombrero) (X. Butterball .X's 'lost thing')_


	2. while washing an armadilo

**Me, Xx. FaLlEnArChAnGeL .xX, LittleCullenGirl, X. Butterball .X and my sister: (yes my friends and I are really weird and random)**

**These are during recess and lunch:**

'Return the bible.' 'why?' 'Cause they are returnable.'

'I eat you, you eat me.' 'Why?' 'Cause I'm hungry.'

'I'm gonna throw up...' 'Project your guts, that way.' (Points in other direction)

'Forward,' 'Mitchie,' 'Backwards,'

'You suck,' 'I suck worse than a vacuum cleaner.'

'Why is the tree trying to eat me?' ''Cause you're tasty.'

'I wanna fly!' 'I'll buy you a trampoline.'

'You're weird.' 'You have to be weird to be my friend,' '...You suck.'

'RANDOM!'

'I'll say the 3 words.' 'NO NOT THE 3 WORDS. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'

'Hey baby cakes.' 'Hey F***ed up cow' (this is how Xx. FaLlEnArChAnGeL .xX and LittleCullenGirl greet each other)

'You go hide in the water while I count to 1 billion.'

'Go play in the traffic.'

Hey guys, you wanna play a game?' 'Yeah!' 'Shut the F*** up.'

'I buy you a lollipop,' 'I buy you a life because you need one to live.'

"Jappa sole my cookies, but i ated her lollipop so go eat your mum."  
'And, and...' 'Do you want a dollar?' 'Oh oh yes please.' 'Ok here, now go call someone who cares.'

'I'm gonna take over the world!' 'I'll buy you tree.'

'You crashed my car,' 'You crashed my life.'

"I love you like I love my brief case of bricks I left in the subway."

'I love you.' 'Sure go have fun with your mum.'

'I like green.' 'I like when you go to hell then the world is happy and dancing like little kids of the wizard of oz or was it the Grinch?'

'Clothes!' 'FIRE!'

'You broke my car, you broke my heart.'

'Don't tell me how to feel, this love is predictable and it is real-el...' 'Wait, wait, wait. What the hell are you talking about?' 'Um i am um singing a um song um yeah.' 'Yeah sure whatever.'

'OH MY GOD a TREE oh my god it's god witch a.' **(DO NOT ASK!)**

'Stupid people do stupid stuff.'

'Don't grow up 2 fast, be a kid forever.'


	3. While creating GOD!

**People from all over the place... Kids. This chapter has stuff from my friends who are mentioned in earlier chapters.**

**Jaedon in this story is Jappa, it is another nickname!**

**Just to let you know, some of this stuff is made up! We don't really do it… except the rules of science are true…. Except for me bleeding**

Rules of Science for Mitchie and Jaedon:

NEVER trust them with tape... NEVER

NEVER trust them with balloons, and scissors.

Make sure Jaedon doesn't have a pencil or paper nearby... she will draw an eye!

Don't trust Mitchie with a knife, scissors, scalpel or hockey stick.

Don't trust them with Plasticine

Don't trust them with a bottle... or anything for a respiration experiment.

Stop any arguments they are about to have.

Make sure they don't start talking nonsense about stories... and fanfics

Make sure Mitchie puts ALL the plasticine away

Never get them to draw there science experiments, they add stuff in...

Never trust Mitchie with scissors and a pig... rubber pig... I'll miss you poor fella *Jaedon cries* *Mitchie cackles like a maniac*

Don't ask them about Christopher, graves, dibs, shanks or Dru. They won't tell you the truth and you'll never hear the end of it.

Don't let Jaedon draw Mitchie or try and write down how many colours are in her hair

Say no whenever Jaedon say 'Oh yeah' or 'please' you don't know what crazy thing she'll do

NEVER trust Mitchie with a hair straightener... wait, what does this have to do with science...

Agree when Mitchie claims she has fangs... or she'll bite you. ;loibhuvgycftdsA it is Mitchie and I do and Jaedon's kinda on the floor . .. bleeding now soo agree or shall die

Don't trust Mitchie with a highlighter… and a highlighter… it will lead to the end of the world… or maybe just destruction….

Don't let Mitchie near her laptop with a highlighter!

Jaedon with friends in Art:

Butterball: I'm a little teapot, Jaedon is too. Here is a cup of tea just for you. When I get all steamed up, I explode: STOP DRINKING FROM US, IT'S NOT FAIR!

Mitchie in RE with Sivvy and Jaedon:

Mitchie Praying: "Jebus….. How's your day?"

Sivvy and Jaedon listening to the albino song: *Jade trying to hold in her laughter* "HA!" *Mitchie stares at her* "What are you doing?" *Sivvy also trying to hold in laughter* "Listening to the albino song hahaha!" *Jaedon and Sivvy together:* "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" *Mitchie steals iPod and changes songs* "HEY!"

Mitchie: "What are we doing?

Jappa: "I don't know…"

Sivvy: "… Wait, were you talking to me?"

Mitchie: "No, I was talking to God!"

Mitchie: "You wanna go there, 'cause I can kick your ass to Mexico and Back… ah huh…."

Mitchie and Jaedon in SCIENCE:

**WARNING: when saying highlight what you think is important, be more specific!:**

Teacher: "Highlight what you think is important in this booklet."

Mitchie: "Is the leaf important?"

Jaedon: "I think she means what words we think is important…"

Mitchie: "But is the leaf important?"

Jaedon: "I guess…"

Mitchie: Colours in leaf. "I'm done!"

Jaedon: shakes head and does what the teacher asks.

Teacher: walks around… "Mitchie… I don't think that is right…"

Mitchie: "You said to highlight what was important and the leaf is important…"

Teacher: "What am I going to do with you…?"

*Jaedon is watching her screen mate* "Look at the lil' fella!"


	4. While going to Prison

**Some of the stuff in this chapter is seriously messed up! Just thought you'd like to know.**

**Jaedon and Mitchie's Prison talk  
**

For Male: Touch me, when I drop the soap and you'll be neutered like a dog with a spoon… uh huh!

For Female: Touch me, when I drop the soap, and I'll cut off your breasts with a plastic knife… uh huh, I went there!

**Mummy, Daddy, Darling section**

"Mummy, when I grow up I'm gonna shoot you in the head!" "Why darling?" "Because you piss me off!"

"Daddy when I grow up can you teach me how to blow you up?" "Why darling?" "Because you piss me off!"

"Mummy... How are Babies made?" "Well honey... when two people love each other very much, they go to bed and sleep. But this is a special kind of sleep as they do it naked..." "Mummy?" "Yes Darling?" "Don't lie, tell me how babies are made... Or I'll blow you up!" "... Okay Darling... can you please put that gun away?"

**Lesbian (NO offence to lesbians! You guys are actually pretty cool!)**

Jaedon with her cousins (NO this did NOT happen and no Jaedon isn't a lesbian):

"Jaedon, are you a lesbian?"

"Yes, I LOVE guys!"

"So you aren't a lesbian?"

"No, Guys are AWESOME!"

**During PE Theory (This is actually true  
**

(Looking up image for photo shopping) Jaedon: "I'd hate for them to enlarge my boobs, 'cause they are large enough as it is." Somemone: "Really, who woulda thunk it!"

**Messed Up (We actually came up with this with a bunch of our friends... lol)  
**

Jaedon (NOT TRUE): "So Butterball married this man and had a child. She then divorced him and Married me… who was her daughter's sister… so I'm married to my mother. I am also the Grandmother and Auntie of my sister/daughter's daughter and I am "supposedly" married to GJ? And I am a lesbian with my Mother….?"

Other Person: "... Yeah…"

Jaedon: "… I seriously need counselling!"

**On the Bus**

*Listening to IYiYiY by Cody Simpson* B B B Barry: I swear you can do the soulja boy dance to this song! Jaedon and Maddy: You can! *Start doing the Soulja boy dance.*

**Ways to answer the Phone**

"Ello, Poppet!"

"Moshi Moshi!"

"Yellow!"

"Hiya Barbie!"

"Piss off…" (I was annoyed at my sister for this so…)

"Hi Ken!"

"Like OMG looks who calling!"

"Boo!"

"Bye!" (And when saying goodbye: "HI!")

"Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring Banana Phone!"

"Hi-de-bi (it's a language Jaedon and her sis talk!)

"Don't want any!"

**On the Bus**

Salli to new girls on the bus: You'll soon realise this isn't a normal bus!

Jaedon: Definitely not! Haha!

**While on a sugar high**

WOOT! *bangs head back and forth in tune with a song* (thank god it was night time, otherwise K, R and Jaedon will be screwed… and M you do know US!)

**Please Review!**


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